As parents we want to give the best to our children. We want to teach them to be independent and productive. We really don't want them to be dependent on us the rest of their lives. And teaching them skills like chores, and homework, are just the first steps.
When my son was about 2, I had him doing chores. He helped me fold face cloths and tea towels in the clean laundry and dry the cutlery. As he grew up, the chores reflected his growth and abilities. He started setting the table, and sorting socks, and later he did the laundry and washed dishes or put the clean ones away.
Yes, some times it would have been easier, faster and cleaner to do it myself, but that does not teach my child about responsibilities, and how to take care of himself. And trust me there were many times where I thought, "I should just do this".
But now, as I look back, I see there should have been other things I taught him, or did for him that would have helped prepare him for the future even more. Now that my son has moved out, and Adam and I are 'empty nesters', we get random texts and calls from our son that says: 'help, how do I do this?'. Now don't get me wrong. I love that he texts or calls us; but I now see where I should have helped develop him more along the way.
Here are 4 things that I wish I did when my son was small
1. Include him in the meal making process.
We tend, as parents, to want to do this for ourselves. It's easier. It's safer. It's quicker. It's our chance for a quick 'time out' to breathe.
Yeah. I get that. But now I see that my son's cooking skills are about making a box of mac 'n' cheese for lunch and a can of soup of supper.
If it counts, I had him baking with me. This teaches pre math and literary skills, teaches patience and gives parent and child some fun one-on-one time. But I think baking and cooking are different. He can't eat chocolate cake for a week at every meal.
2. Helping him develop his natural abilities.
As parents we tend to encourage our child to dance, or play an instrument or do something that we did. Because we did it, and liked it. But children, like us, have their own abilities; and sometimes that's different than ours. It could be sports, craftiness (and I'm talking about art, not mentality), being musically inclined, or mechanically inclined, ... This can get expensive. By allowing our children to pursue their abilities, gives them self-confidence and lets them know 'we see them' and their abilities.
I wish I had been able to spend money on that.
3. Have him involved when things around the house were being fixed or renovated.
I wish I had let him help fix the dent in the wall, or shown him how to lay floor tile or clean the gutters of the house. This would give him the ability to take care of his own home, (to an extent, I'm not talking about the furnace).
And yes, I know a three or four year old should not be on ladder cleaning gutters. That's definitely something to teach when they are older!
And 4. I wish I had put money away for him since he was born.
I read somewhere that if you put $1 a day away, you'd be a millionaire by retirement. Retirement. No, I'm not talking about having my son dependent on me until HE retires, I'm talking about putting it away for future schooling. If I had put $1 a day away for my son, starting as soon as he was born, by 18 he would have had almost $20,000 (that's $30 a month for 18 years; and that's not including interest). Imagine. That could be his college career.
I hope this gives you food for thought.
Keep up the great work parents!
